I remember sitting on the front lawn of my childhood home, waiting for Dad to get home. All five kids huddled on the grass, my youngest brother only maybe two years old. Dad came home and they called a family meeting. I remember so vividly him saying the words, "For the first time in my life, I was fired."
The details are a bit of a blur after that but I do recall literally hiding my head under a pillow so they didn't see that I was crying about it. I don't know why, because crying was a regular occurrence in our house. I think I was just thinking of all the worst possible outcomes, something I still do to this day. After my dad was let go from his job, with five kids under ten at home and no other income, you'd think this is cause for panic. But it turned out to be the best possible outcome for our family.
My parents run a successful business with multiple locations and employees. We have had our share of ups and downs but we thrived as a family once my dad wasn't working for a toxic company anymore. That is the short version of that story, but the point is that sometimes you have to let things go in order for things to get better.
I left a great position with a company to go explore other opportunities with a company that claimed to pay better, have better hours and many benefits. About a month in, they decided that it wasn't a right fit for me and they excused me from the company on the spot.
There was a lot more drama that went into it. I'll save everyone the sob story but it didn't work out. This all happened two days after Brody stopped work to back to school. It's been a tough couple of days full of an unknown future, zero income and bills to pay. I am hurt and angry at them for doing this to us. Not only that, but my supervisor couldn't even be bothered to show up to break the news. For a company that is so big on feedback, they couldn't give me anything better than, "You don't get any further explanation, this is a business decision." Anyways, I said I wouldn't share all the dramatics but it's been a long week.
I really had this plan to go into this new job and excel. It was going generally really well and I didn't see this coming. I imagined making good money and us finally getting out of our tiny basement suite and starting a family. Brody and I have talked about this trial for hours on end. Laughed about it, cried about it, prayed lots and attended the temple. I have had to let some of my dreams temporarily die, and it is a heartbreaking reality. Although this story doesn't have a happy ending yet, I have learned a few things.
I have enough faith that I have to believe that this is for the best. Just like my dad when I was young, this came as a shock, and a bit of a stress but we can already see some silver linings that I will share when I feel moved to. Just because sometimes things don't work out the way I predicted doesn't mean they will never work out. We will move out and we will have a family, it just needs to be put on hold for a minute. For all we know this could be a huge blessing in disguise.
I am worthy of good things. I will find a company that values me and everything I can offer. I will not be left in a pit of despair. I will accomplish my goals and find something better. I deserve better.
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