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Part 19: Rock Bottom

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TW if you're sensitive like me :) Covid is at its height. The restrictions are tight, more things are getting cancelled by the hour, and my trip that I had planned to go see Manda was cancelled. I had told my co workers at the daycare that I needed a few days off after my breakup, but it closed down anyways. My boss said that she didn't think it would be an easy re-open because a lot of the moms of the kids were upset that you were going to have to be vaccinated to come back in. Because obviously it was our fault that we didn't want their kids to get a virus that was killing people. Anyways, my boss asked me if I wanted to start working at the front desk of the gym. I knew some of the front desk staff. It seemed like a bit of a frat house at times, but it was going to be a bit more weekly hours and a change of scenery. I agreed pretty quickly.  Manda was coming home from BYU. We wished it was under happier circumstances but we were really excited to have her home. I needed ...
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Part 18: Gaston

 It's Sunday morning. March 15th, 2020. It's the first Sunday of the Covid shutdown and we keep getting more news of things being cancelled because of the pandemic. My parents still want us in our Sunday best and we're going to watch church over Zoom, but I can't stop thinking about my fight with Gaston from the night before. I text him good morning, he responds. I decide that it's time I address these problems that we've been having. I'm not dumb and I know that these issues can't keep going this way, so we need to fix them in order to live happily ever after.  I text Gaston. I say something along the lines of, "I know we've been having a lot of issues and we've been fighting lately. I just wanted to check in and make sure that you still love me." His response hits me like a truck. "Yeah... We should talk about this in person." I mean this was a first, him wanting to talk about things in person. But this was not a good respon...
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Part 17: 3 Years

 On Valentine's Day in 2020, Gaston and I celebrate our three year anniversary. That is a long time to be with someone, when you're nineteen. We had the whole day planned out to go to White Rock all day and then have dinner later. He actually agrees to go which makes me really excited because he isn't usually so enthusiastic about hanging out with me. Our whole day is great, but my parents won't stop bugging me. They keep messaging me asking when I'm going to be home and if Gaston and I want to eat dinner with them. Gaston had probably eaten dinner with my family one time since we had gotten together. He never had anything to do with them and they didn't really care about him at all. They actually preferred when he wasn't around. We wrap our date up and head back to Abbotsford and have pizza with my family.  We had been home for maybe ten minutes when I look out onto my parents back deck, I see my sister Manda. My big sister, who I was missing so much since ...
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Part 16: Is This Worth It?

 For my parents anniversary in 2019, they decided to go away to Tofino for the weekend and leave me at home to watch my siblings. I watched them all the time, but this was my first time watching them overnight. We started the day off at church but left after one hour to go home and eat lunch. Once we're home, we hear the doorbell ring. We had obviously been taught about basic stranger danger, so we knew to check the security cameras before we went to answer the door. But when we walk over to the camera screen, we see a man that we don't recognize. He has rang the doorbell, but as we're watching him live on the screen, he starts to look in our windows. After he looks in the windows, he starts to go through the mailbox, then walks over to our big window that looks into our living room and he looks inside. He then speaks into the door camera, saying something we can't quite make out. Then, he walks to the end of the driveway, takes a picture of our house and walks up the s...
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Part 15: Is This What It's Like To Be An Adult?

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 June of 2019, I finally graduate high school. When I walk across that stage, I beam with pride. I wasn't as emotional about it as I thought I would be, I'm just really happy to be done with high school. Goodbye to the homework I never did, the teachers that I didn't cooperate with, the friends that I fought with and the early mornings that I hated. Graduating high school also meant graduating my bible study class with the horrible group of classmates. Life was good. Gaston went to my graduation and he sat with my family. This makes me a bit nervous because I know that they don't really like him. I hope that he's nice to them and that they're nice to him.  At the end of the graduation ceremony, nobody in my friend group is around. With 375 graduating students and all of their family members and friends, it was a sea of navy blue caps and gowns with everyone running in different directions. My family was going out for dinner and we had to get going to make it for...
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Part 14: She's Angsty Because We Moved

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 Our new church group is about as bad as I thought it would be. They like me and my sisters there but I am always wishing that I was with my old group. Gaston and I are still together despite not seeing each other as much. We see each other on the weekends and we have a lot of fun. I don't really get why he only wants to see me on the weekends but it's better than nothing. He and I get in really brutal fights though. If it's not great, it's horrible. One day, we text fight so badly that I decide I will only have this conversation face to face. So my good friend and I get in her car, drive to his school and I demand that he come out and fight with me in person. We are yelling, throwing our arms around, pointing fingers and cursing. He puts his finger really close in my face and my friend looks like she's going to get out of her car to intervene. People are staring while we yell at each other on the field. He tells me that people are telling him that I'm bad news ...
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Part 13: In With The New

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 At a party during the summer before grade twelve, someone decides to play this horrible game. It was kind of a thing to play horrible games at these parties and make horrible choices, but we kept doing it. For this particular game, someone asks someone else a question. In this case, someone asked one of the girls who their least favourite person at the party was. Then if those two people say the same number at the same time, they have to reveal what the question and answer were. So she's asked who her least favourite person at the party was, they said the same number and she revealed in front of the whole party that I was her least favourite person there. I look to Gaston for help and he's laughing hard. He does pat my back to comfort me but everyone in the room had mixed reactions of laughing, cringing, and standing up for me. The girl texts me privately and apologizes a lot. But ouch, I already didn't like myself so it stung a bit to know that my "friend" also ...
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