Jensen House

 When I saw Elder Jensen after the chaos in Idaho, it was in the parking lot of a stadium in Abbotsford. We had arranged to say goodbye before he left for Guyana in a few days. Missionaries have to travel in pairs, so he had swindled an easy going Elder to come chaperone us, but was going to give us some space. I liked that Elder Jensen wanted to talk to me in person and not just over text. He wasn't shy to admit to others that he wanted to say goodbye to me and that he cared for me. This Elder that came with him had caught on to what was going on a little while ago. We were at a basketball game, Elder Jensen walked away and the other Elder came over to me and said, "You love him, don't you?" At the time, I kind of just laughed. Love is a strong word, I didn't know how I felt yet but I know that I had been burnt by jerks a few too many times and had my guard up. Since then, there had been too many moments I couldn't ignore. I had fallen in love with him.  The ...

 What could the "elephant in the room" mean to him? I mean if you were to ask me, it would be that we obviously have feelings for each other. But for him, it could be that obviously we need to stop being so friendly with each other. He could be waiting to enter the Vancouver airport and tell me that he won't be ready for a relationship for a long time and that I needed to back off. This wouldn't be anything I hadn't heard before. I mean men seemed to run from me as fast as they could, for reasons I didn't understand. But if that were the case, I don't know why he would wait another month and a half to tell me that. He and I had gotten friendly but everything was extremely appropriate, with him being a missionary and all. One night, he told me that the highlight of his day was when he got to see me, which I thought was nice and could be interpreted as a dead giveaway that he liked me more than as a friend, but I still had a massive guard up and knew that he...

 I loved talking to Elder Jensen. The problem was that I was really messed up from all the hurt I had experienced. I was convinced that there was no romantic connection between us, like the one I was convinced that I had with Pete. He had convinced me that Calgary was the place to be, and was even going to help me find a place to live. It seemed that he and his family had a lot of connections in the area. Then, the best thing happened. The missionaries have to move every six weeks, sometimes they stay where they are, sometimes they move many hours away, sometimes they just move a city or two over. Currently, Elder Jensen was in Langley/Surrey area. This was considered outside the area that me and my family lived in, over in Abbotsford. But when the transfer calls came in, we were told that Jensen would be moving to Chilliwack, which was in the same Zone as Abbotsford. This meant that his lessons would be in my church building, he was closer to where I lived and it would be a lot ea...

 A couple hours went by. We got home from Christmas dinner and were spending the last few hours of Christmas as a family. My phone started to buzz again and it showed a Messenger notification. Elder Jensen kept his word and messaged me again. He was talking to me about how great the young adult wards were in Calgary and how he loves to have friends over for parties. We kept chatting until he revisited his unanswered question about where I was currently attending church. I hated this question, especially from missionaries. If I told the truth, it would turn into a lecture about how I should go and how it's the best place, etc. I've had this conversation before, and I did not like it.  I thought about my response and decided to say, "I don't really have a ward right now. I don't like to go to church and I don't really like to talk about it." I thought it was polite enough, I set a good boundary. I thought surely he would stop talking to me now. I wasn't ...

One night in November, after deciding I was truly okay being single and at peace with myself, I drove up to the Vancouver Temple to walk, talk, and think.  I have always found the grounds comforting, so it made sense to me that I would go there to break down and think about my life. It was dark out, it was maybe close to 10:00pm and it was cold out. I started to walk laps around the lit up building, the tears flowing and almost freezing to my cheeks and the creases in my eyes. When I turned the corner during my lap, I heard two mens voices. My initial instinct is to run, which I'm sure any female will understand. But it wasn't a murderer, it was two missionaries. They were on their way home but had stopped to be by the temple, too. I recognized one of the Elders from earlier that year. It was Elder Jensen.  He was with his companion getting his picture taken in front of the temple. He had never caved to my flirting and I actually got the sense that he was annoyed with me most ...

Somewhere between the wedding, my surgery, and my ongoing simping over Pete, Holly and I stopped nannying together. I was juggling a few different families at the time, but the one that was especially dysfunctional—the same one with the stairs I fell down—ended abruptly and, unfortunately, not on great terms. It started with her baby daddy bringing home the wrong vacuum cleaner and forgetting to pay us. It ended with Holly and I walking out on a yelling match, leaving their poor toddler quite literally standing in the middle of them. We never went back after that. She did text me to let me know that she had taken the baby, the TV and a bunch of money and left their house. She asked me if I would testify in court if she decided to go for full custody. I was nineteen and I think anyone would agree that would be inappropriate. So I didn't respond and we never spoke again.  My other nanny families were great. One family had two boys and a baby girl, and the other had two small girls. T...