Jensen House

 Rehearsals for Mamma Mia start and I think the show is going to be really good. I think it did help that I was finally a lead but I was also having a lot of fun with Hans. Although I'm in this complicated situation with Gaston, I start to think what things could be like if Hans and I ended up together. He really thinks that I am just great and he doesn't shy away from telling me. He always hugs me and compliments me in rehearsals. We have insane onstage chemistry that people in the class start to spread rumours that I like him. All of the girls are in love with Hans so they're really jealous that he and I are becoming closer. I tell them that I love Gaston and that Hans and I are just really good friends.  Hans is playing Sam in Mamma Mia, so if you know the show you know that Donna and Sam get married in the end. The script did have a kiss in it, but no teacher was going to make us kiss if we didn't want to, except we really did want to. Over text one night, Hans and ...

Some time in grade eleven, Manda and I decided that it was time for our own rooms. Our house was small but big enough that we could have our own rooms if the younger two girls shared. So we moved into our own rooms and I feel like it was pretty underwhelming. It's funny how as kids, all we want is our own room. There were many nights that Manda and I spent arguing over who was going to turn the light off at night. Or nights where I was trying to sleep while she had friends over and they were being silly. I like to keep my space as messy as possible and she likes to be really neat, bed made and clothes put away. But there were also nights we spent laughing. Times where we made music videos on Video Star with Jordan or times when our mutual friends came over and we all stayed up together. So many good chats, belly laughs and fond memories. We moved into our own rooms, but what I would give to be sixteen sharing a room with my big sister again.   Gaston and I were pretty much sti...

 September of 2017, I was going into grade eleven. I was still dating Gaston and going strong with him since February. I like being someone's girlfriend. We don't really see each other outside of church activities and group get-togethers because we're still young and our parents ran a tight ship. But we had already said that we loved each other. I wanted to be this guy's wife. My family was not thrilled about me having a steady boyfriend at sixteen and they didn't seem to really like him in general. But they didn't know him like I knew him and they were going to have to get on board because we were going to get married one day.  Our school musical that year was going to be The Music Man. None of us were happy with this choice and we all considered boycotting the theatre program because "there's no way they'll do it without us" because we "held the program together" or something. We all bomb our auditions and I am left with a small rol...

 I finish grade ten feeling accomplished and relieved. We do a production of Hairspray (again, with only white kids) and I play Penny Pingleton. It's not the lead but there are a few singing parts that I really like and I got to act romantic opposite with a good friend of mine. I maybe should have mentioned this before, but I was kind of a legend in my high school for singing. I would sing O Canada on the announcement every Monday morning, our school put on a singing competition every year and I always participated. The song that I always came back to was "I Know Where I've Been" from Hairspray. It's a powerful, soulful song about struggle, identity and fighting for equal rights. So of course nobody found fault with a white sixteen year old singing it over and over again, right? So if you're familiar with that show, you know that Penny Pingleton doesn't sing that song, Motormouth Mabel does. The girl who was casted as Motormouth was actually black, therefo...

 Needless to say, I was really worried about going back to school for grade ten. Even though most of my bullies had graduated, a lot of people had heard what happened and I wasn't sure I could face them. I wanted them to know that I was different now. I wanted them to know that I was someone that they could be friends with.  On November 1st, 2016, there was word of a lockdown at a high school in Abbotsford. Abbotsford is small enough that the social circles run small. The circles become even smaller when you narrow it down to high school and even smaller when you narrow it down to grade nine and ten. When I got home from school that day, I hear that two girls had been stabbed in their high school. One of the girls lost their life and the other had life-threatening injuries. I was obviously very sad to hear this, but I had no connection to either girl. But things like that weren't supposed to happen in Abbotsford.  I wasn't prepared for what school would be like for the re...

TW if you're sensitive like me :)  The summer after grade nine, I am beyond ready to not be in school anymore. I couldn't wait to get away from all of those horrible people and I couldn't wait to not have to wake up early. Our church had a mandatory, early-morning scripture study class that started at 6:25 every school morning. It is a unique form of torture but I had friends there.  There was also a boy there that I had become quite fond of and we would text sometimes. But I didn't really know what his deal was because he would text me all this deep stuff but then totally ignore me in person. I didn't know at the time that that's what immature boys do, I was just confused and hurt by it.  Anyways, another unique form of torture that the LDS church inflicted upon us, is a pioneer trek in the hot depth of August. It involves walking a lot with a group of people (your fake Ma, Pa and siblings), sleeping under a tarp that's open on both ends, wearing pioneer cl...