Part 28: Merry Christmas, Elder Jensen
One night in November, after deciding I was truly okay being single and at peace with myself, I drove up to the Vancouver Temple to walk, talk, and think. I have always found the grounds comforting, so it made sense to me that I would go there to break down and think about my life. It was dark out, it was maybe close to 10:00pm and it was cold out. I started to walk laps around the lit up building, the tears flowing and almost freezing to my cheeks and the creases in my eyes. When I turned the corner during my lap, I heard two mens voices. My initial instinct is to run, which I'm sure any female will understand. But it wasn't a murderer, it was two missionaries. They were on their way home but had stopped to be by the temple, too. I recognized one of the Elders from earlier that year. It was Elder Jensen.
He was with his companion getting his picture taken in front of the temple. He had never caved to my flirting and I actually got the sense that he was annoyed with me most of the time. There had been moments where he was nice, like times when I was at the church prepping for Manda's wedding and we had run into each other. He would make small talk, "Hi, How are you?" but nothing more than that. He was definitely not the person I wanted to run into in the middle of a mental breakdown, since I was pretty sure that he already thought I was a bit of a nut. But I had to get back to my car so I waited for his picture to be done and I tried to walk past quickly. "Hey, Becca!" I heard. I didn't know that he knew my name, but we had been in meetings together a few times so I guess it made sense. I waved at him from a good ten feet away so that they Elders didn't see my puffy, red face. "You're in Abby 1st, right?" he continues. That was the name of the congregation that my parents were in. The same congregation that I hadn't been in for months. I hadn't been to any congregation for months, but this was not the time to get into it.
After some small talk, ten feet away, I made an escape back to my car and sat until they had driven away. Elder Jensen was really cute and smiley. I think he was a nice guy, he just knew he had a job to do and didn't want me to distract him, or anyone.
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Christmas 2021, I am really doing great. I'm single, I have great friends, everyone in my family is doing great and it's Christmas! All is well. I was still working at the gym which was giving me enough money to make do. Manda and Ethan had moved to Kelowna in the summertime to officially start their life together. We were going to miss having them close, but luckily Kelowna isn't too far away. But we were all together for Christmas. The pandemic had calmed down enough that we could have a family gathering but there were still restrictions, vaccine passes and an overall vibe of anxiety and eggshell-walking.
I was friends with most of the missionaries in our area, so I thought it would be nice to message them and wish them a Merry Christmas, especially since they were away from their families during COVID. I made my way through all of the missionaries that I knew, wishing them a Merry Christmas and a Happy Holidays. I even send one to Pete and he responds. The dreams that I had of marrying him had died. I had made my peace with the idea that I might not ever find anyone to marry. After being rejected so many times, it didn't feel like a realistic idea, but I was okay with that. Anyways, I come across Elder Jensen's Facebook profile and stare at it. He had a nice smile and he did seem to want to talk to me when we ran into each other on the temple grounds. It was Christmas and I'm sure he was missing his family. If he didn't respond, he didn't respond. At least could try to be nice. So I messaged him on Facebook Messenger and said, "Merry Christmas, Elder Jensen. I hope you have had a nice day even though you're away from your family." Nice enough, not flirtatious but friendly.
I was sitting on the floor of my Grandparents living room, watching the white elephant gift exchange go down. My phone buzzes and it's a Messenger notification, and it's from Elder Jensen.
"Thanks so much" he says. "Merry Christmas to you as well." I didn't respond. I was going to leave it at that because I really had no intentions to flirt with any more missionaries. They always turned out to be jerks and I needed to work on myself. Besides, I spent my Sunday mornings at McDonalds while my parents thought that I went to church and I wasn't really ready to be preached to. So I just left it.
Another ten minutes goes by, I'm watching my aunts and uncles and grandparents exchange gifts. I'm laughing and having a fun time when my phone vibrates again. "So, what have you been up to?" I think this guy misunderstood. I wasn't trying to chat, I just wanted to make homesick missionaries feel happier. But I remembered how I had been trying to be friendly with this guy for awhile and never really felt like he liked me. Maybe he was just shy. He seemed to want to talk to me, so what was the harm? I gave some brief response about how I was working at the gym but it had closed because of Covid, etc. The conversation dies quickly. It's just small talk. After another few minutes, my phone buzzes again. Wow, this guy really wants to talk to me. This time, he says that he remembers me saying that I wanted to move to Alberta. I think he probably heard that from Pete, because Elder Jensen and I hadn't really ever had a real conversation. My tentative plan was to move to Alberta when I finished hair school in September, which after some conversation, we realized that was the same time that Elder Jensen was finished his missionary service and would be going back home to Calgary.
We end up texting back and forth for about twenty minutes about whether I should move to Lethbridge or Calgary. I thought I would be following Pete to Lethbridge, but since that ship had sailed, I was considering Calgary. I explain this to Elder Jensen (minus the part about me pining for Pete) and he tells me the pros and cons of both Calgary and Lethbridge, but was really pushing for Calgary. He was really hyping it up.
Next, he asks me who the missionaries are in my current congregation (ward) that I'm attending. Well, here's the thing, at this point I don't even know what ward I belong to. I don't go to the young adults ward, I don't go to church with my parents. I didn't belong anywhere. Before I can answer, he tells me that he has to go but will talk to me later. I'm sure he won't talk to me later, so I say bye and keep watching the gift exchange.
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