Part 25: Appendix-less in 2021

 In January of 2021, I started to understand how teething babies feel. My wisdom teeth were coming in hot and they were extremely painful. When we pulled up to my appointment to have them pulled, I started to question if the pain of having them removed would be worth it to stop the pain of them coming in. I was going to get the laughing gas to help me get through it. I had never been on any sort of sedation before and was feeling really nervous about it all. Because of Covid still at its height, I had to be dropped off by myself. When I get in the chair, they lean me back and put a mask over my face which makes me feel claustrophobic and panic. But before I realize it, everything is moving in slow motion and everything is suddenly very silly. 

As it goes with any sedation, it's all a blur. But I do remember part ways into the procedure I say "Hey, can you turn the sedation down?" The dentist ignored me, probably because he was concentrating and I had been spouting nonsense for forty-five minutes. I was really starting to freak out because I was realizing that I didn't feel like myself and I felt out of control. "I'm scared." I slur as tears start to run down my face. They quickly push more oxygen and I start to come out of it a bit. "It's okay, you can keep going." I say as I'm still semi loopy. Then I start to giggle and stick my finger in my mouth where they have their scalpels and suction. Not to mention the gaping open wounds in my mouth. "Dont!" The dentist raised his voice at me. I remember feeling like I owed him an apology when I came to. 

There was a period of time when I got home when the laughing gas wore off but I was too swollen to swallow any medication. It was not funny anymore, it was awful. I started to cry but my mouth was too sore to open. I was going to pass out. Manda walked me to the couch and laid me down until it got better. What are big sisters for. 

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In March of 2021, the one year anniversary of Gaston breaking up with me rolled around. I decided that I was going to spend the day having fun and pack it with all of my favourite things. I was going to go out to White Rock beach with a friend and go to our favorite restaurant right on the beach, then make my way to Langley and have cake with another friend for her birthday, and then finish off the day with my grandma. First thing in the morning, I wake up completely sick. Like over the toilet sick. A bad start to my perfect day, but I was going to make it happen. The sickness passed after an hour or so and I was on my way. 

It really was the perfect day. When I left my grandparents house around 10:00 pm, the sickness came back but instead of nausea it was a very sharp stab. I couldn't sit up straight or slouch without it feeling like something was ripping internally. When I got home and told everyone, they all laughed at my misery. Just kidding, they did laugh but I laughed too. I didn't know what the heck was going on. After googling my symptoms, my dad suggested that I lay down for a bit and if it's still bad we could go to the ER. I didn't want to go to the hospital, especially at the height of Covid. My dad was going to have to just drop me off and go. I had never been to the hospital for myself before. I had never had an IV or been under a general anesthetic before. But after another hour of horrible pain, we had to go. 

To make a long story shorter, I waited for seventeen hours before they took me into pre-op. My appendix was double the size it was supposed to be and was at risk of rupturing. Did I mention that I did this whole thing alone because of Covid? I hadn't seen my family since my dad dropped me off in the ER at midnight the night before and now it was after 5:00 pm the next day. They told me that it's one of the all time easiest surgeries and that I will be out in an hour. A patient on the other side of the curtain had overheard our conversation and she pulled the curtain open. "I hope you don't mind me interrupting," she said. "I had this same procedure done when I was your age, and my daughter just had this procedure done last week." She was a patient hooked up to an IV so she was obviously there for herself. "It's terrifying to be here alone." She continued, as she started to tear up. When they took me and put that dreaded oxygen mask over my face, I started to freak out and say, "No, stop. I'm not ready" and then suddenly the procedure was over and I was in recovery. 

That night, I woke up to the sounds of machines beeping loudly. I had been jump scared awake every three hours when they came to check my vitals. I'd wake up in a panic, in pain, not knowing where I was. In my disoriented sleep panic, I thought the beeping machines were my own, but I soon realized that they were coming from the lady on the other side of the curtain. The lights turn on and there was instant rush of doctors and nurses coming to her aid. I don't really know what happened to her that night but I think about her sometimes and her kind words of encouragement. I hope she ended up okay...

The next day my mom was able to come in and get me. Before I knew it I was back home safe. I felt many things but I felt proud of myself. I felt very grown up having to navigate all of that on my own. I even had to "sign my life away" before the surgery. But I was finished, with one less appendix and a crazy story to tell.